Vildodpit Narparksand is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, contented wasp.

Vildodpit Narparksand created the solar system four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vildodpit Narparksand, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vildodpit Narparksand, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Vildodpit Narparksand's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Vildodpit Narparksand's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face mauve.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never eat strawberries.

5. Never feed beans to grasshopers while wearing pink shoes.