Cetbessmotmis Mildingum is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, pitiless lion.

Cetbessmotmis Mildingum created time and space nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cetbessmotmis Mildingum, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cetbessmotmis Mildingum, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Cetbessmotmis Mildingum's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Cetbessmotmis Mildingum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Cetbessmotmis Mildingum.