Bag is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, sage horse.

Bag created a charm quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bag, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bag, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bag's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Bag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Hide from black tapirs for they are unholy.

3. Retreat if nine otters approach from the east.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not hurt horses.