Gutsugnul is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, boastful bear.

Gutsugnul created Asia four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutsugnul, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gutsugnul, he will have a low opinion of you.

Gutsugnul's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Gutsugnul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Put Gutsugnul first in all things.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

5. Always help sick porpoises.