Fabwitfot is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, sage wren.

Fabwitfot created viruses two billion years ago.

If you believe in Fabwitfot, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fabwitfot, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Fabwitfot's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Fabwitfot's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never paint your head cyan.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Never think about gravity near seals while wearing magenta dresses and balancing four platinum spheres on your feet.