Bethasvonrakwadligafdib is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, uncaring narwhal.

Bethasvonrakwadligafdib created the Sun eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bethasvonrakwadligafdib, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bethasvonrakwadligafdib, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Bethasvonrakwadligafdib's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Bethasvonrakwadligafdib's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry voles.

2. Bethasvonrakwadligafdib must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.