Kapcumbug is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, competent rhinoceros.

Kapcumbug created the Large Magellanic Cloud three million years ago.

If you believe in Kapcumbug, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kapcumbug, it will refuse to believe in you.

Kapcumbug's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Kapcumbug's Holy Commandments

1. Always help porpoises in need.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Erect seven tin sculptures of Kapcumbug on top of important buildings.

4. Never go into green rooms.

5. Never talk about dolphins.