Cimtomsak is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, calm wolf.

Cimtomsak created an up quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimtomsak, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cimtomsak, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Cimtomsak's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Cimtomsak's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear blue stockings.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

4. Never think about nebulae.

5. Never look in ponds.