Pigwipstig is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, capable mole.

Pigwipstig created Europe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Pigwipstig, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Pigwipstig, he will refuse to believe in you.

Pigwipstig's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Pigwipstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. You must love Pigwipstig.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.