Cisslarpyim is a god.

She takes the form of a large, witty gnu.

Cisslarpyim created the world eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cisslarpyim, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cisslarpyim, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Cisslarpyim's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Cisslarpyim's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Cisslarpyim.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Never mention birds.

5. Never write about galaxies.