Omttonkcit is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, staggering scorpion.

Omttonkcit created a Higgs boson four million years ago.

If you believe in Omttonkcit, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Omttonkcit, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Omttonkcit's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Omttonkcit's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never paint your neck black.

5. Hide from pink dogs for they are unholy.