Vonkshavbog is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, unjust ferret.

Vonkshavbog created the world eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkshavbog, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vonkshavbog, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Vonkshavbog's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Vonkshavbog's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

4. Always look after injured ducks.

5. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.