Sawbinmap Ruttceppak Tunzimlak is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, staggering newt.

Sawbinmap Ruttceppak Tunzimlak created viruses nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sawbinmap Ruttceppak Tunzimlak, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sawbinmap Ruttceppak Tunzimlak, it will destroy your favourite star.

Sawbinmap Ruttceppak Tunzimlak's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Sawbinmap Ruttceppak Tunzimlak's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Never talk about fire.