Fudfutzig Japfatnan Queegnantip is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, wise bat.

Fudfutzig Japfatnan Queegnantip created an up quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fudfutzig Japfatnan Queegnantip, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fudfutzig Japfatnan Queegnantip, she will boil you in a big pot.

Fudfutzig Japfatnan Queegnantip's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Fudfutzig Japfatnan Queegnantip's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt horses.

2. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never think ill of sick cats.

5. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.