Bapnibveen is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, temperamental walrus.

Bapnibveen created the Andromeda Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapnibveen, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bapnibveen, he will turn you into a rat.

Bapnibveen's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Bapnibveen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never feed corn to frogs while wearing shoes.

4. Never think about nucleic acids.

5. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Bapnibveen in the centre of the settlement.