Kabwaptonkrill is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, humane dove.

Kabwaptonkrill created Africa nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kabwaptonkrill, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kabwaptonkrill, it will be mildly annoyed.

Kabwaptonkrill's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Kabwaptonkrill's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Kabwaptonkrill.

2. Never think about quantum field theory.

3. Always make sure there are no frogs in a room before entering it.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Erect four carbon sculptures of Kabwaptonkrill on top of important buildings.