Bimdadril is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, boastful dolphin.

Bimdadril created a top quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimdadril, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bimdadril, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Bimdadril's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Bimdadril's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bimdadril.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near mites while wearing gray tights.

3. Put Bimdadril first in all things.

4. Never wear stockings.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.