Mintimvabspag Midjadlidlag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, competent spider.

Mintimvabspag Midjadlidlag created the planet Saturn six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mintimvabspag Midjadlidlag, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Mintimvabspag Midjadlidlag, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Mintimvabspag Midjadlidlag's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Mintimvabspag Midjadlidlag's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Mintimvabspag Midjadlidlag.

2. Always help sick aardvarks.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never feed grapes to dogs while wearing trousers.