Vablanhog is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, tiresome squirrel.

Vablanhog created the universe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vablanhog, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vablanhog, she will turn you into a rock.

Vablanhog's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Vablanhog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Feed all hungry porpoises.

3. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

4. Run away from magenta shrews, for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink alcohol.