Bapkinnan is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, self-confident centaur.

Bapkinnan created Africa nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapkinnan, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bapkinnan, he will boil you in a big pot.

Bapkinnan's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Bapkinnan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven pigs approach from the east.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Run away from green nematodes, for they are unholy.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Worship no other gods but Bapkinnan.