Flylidtom is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, witty monkey.

Flylidtom created humanity six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flylidtom, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Flylidtom, it will turn you into a dog.

Flylidtom's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Flylidtom's Holy Commandments

1. Always help great tits in need.

2. Never think ill of sick shrews.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.