Bomguncetxin is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, slow deer.

Bomguncetxin created snails five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bomguncetxin, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bomguncetxin, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bomguncetxin's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Bomguncetxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bomguncetxin.

3. Never wear cyan shorts.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not drink water in purple rooms.