Gof is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, unsympathetic sheep.

Gof created the solar system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gof, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gof, she will turn you into a slug.

Gof's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Gof's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near sharks while wearing fawn corsets and balancing seven zinc spheres on your feet.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gof.

3. Never feed cucumbers to moths while wearing ear rings.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Never think about enzymes.