Dubrat is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, conceited turtle.

Dubrat created a photon two million years ago.

If you believe in Dubrat, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Dubrat, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Dubrat's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Dubrat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near capybaras while wearing blue corsets and balancing seven tin spheres on your face.

2. Never mention turtles.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not keep four rats in a large pit.