Tailcarmid is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, amazing penguin.

Tailcarmid created tapeworms three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tailcarmid, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tailcarmid, he will destroy your home planet.

Tailcarmid's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Tailcarmid's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never write about enzymes.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tailcarmid.