Bassbitxemlarntikcumpin is a god.

It takes the form of a large, strong porpoise.

Bassbitxemlarntikcumpin created the universe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bassbitxemlarntikcumpin, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bassbitxemlarntikcumpin, it will think nothing of it.

Bassbitxemlarntikcumpin's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Bassbitxemlarntikcumpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near otters while wearing green stockings.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.