Farnjonsab is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, emotional dog.

Farnjonsab created the Black Eye Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Farnjonsab, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Farnjonsab, he will turn you into a puffin.

Farnjonsab's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Farnjonsab's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not speak about lemons.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in black.