Citbidveen is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, ruthless finch.

Citbidveen created a top quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Citbidveen, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Citbidveen, it will not care at all.

Citbidveen's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Citbidveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of cherries to mice while wearing mauve skirts.

2. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Citbidveen in the centre of the settlement.

3. Citbidveen must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not drink alcohol.