Tonkbassortkadbid is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, tiresome shark.

Tonkbassortkadbid created the Andromeda Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkbassortkadbid, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tonkbassortkadbid, he will turn you into a mole.

Tonkbassortkadbid's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Tonkbassortkadbid's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head black.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Run away from white eagles, for they are unholy.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always treat snakes with great respect.