Yarlhimsom is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, fast rat.

Yarlhimsom created a strange quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Yarlhimsom, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yarlhimsom, he will not care.

Yarlhimsom's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Yarlhimsom's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Worship no other gods but Yarlhimsom.