Mitzemgun is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, amazing dolphin.

Mitzemgun created viruses two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mitzemgun, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Mitzemgun, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Mitzemgun's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Mitzemgun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Put Mitzemgun first in all things.

4. Mitzemgun must be the most important thing in your life.

5. You must pray to Mitzemgun three times a day.