Yatced is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, two-faced owl.

Yatced created humanity two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatced, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yatced, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Yatced's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Yatced's Holy Commandments

1. Put Yatced first in all things.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always obey Yatced's priests.

4. Do not eat cucumbers.

5. Do not chop down trees.