Jamnulwipvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, unjust salamander.

Jamnulwipvonk created the cosmos three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamnulwipvonk, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jamnulwipvonk, it will turn you into a rat.

Jamnulwipvonk's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Jamnulwipvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never play with disobedient children.