Handungen Sinstercuss is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, dishonourable mole.

Handungen Sinstercuss created the Andromeda Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Handungen Sinstercuss, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Handungen Sinstercuss, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Handungen Sinstercuss' most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Handungen Sinstercuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Handungen Sinstercuss loves doves, so they must be respected.

4. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

5. Never write about galaxies.