Jansad is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, boastful alligator.

Jansad created the planet Saturn three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jansad, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jansad, he will not invite you to parties.

Jansad's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Jansad's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Hide if nine seals approach from the north.

5. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.