Padfarngup is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, grumpy lizard.

Padfarngup created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Padfarngup, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Padfarngup, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Padfarngup's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Padfarngup's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not wear pink clothing.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.