Cetflysaw Quimtigten is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, selfish fly.

Cetflysaw Quimtigten created the Large Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cetflysaw Quimtigten, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cetflysaw Quimtigten, he will have a low opinion of you.

Cetflysaw Quimtigten's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Cetflysaw Quimtigten's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Cetflysaw Quimtigten.

2. Do not speak about coconuts.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never eat strawberries.

5. Retreat if four pigs approach from the west.