Titcussyim is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, self-confident mongoose.

Titcussyim created the world three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Titcussyim, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Titcussyim, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Titcussyim's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Titcussyim's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Titcussyim in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always obey Titcussyim's priests.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never go into indigo rooms.

5. Never eat wheat.