Danbafkop Larpfoblarp Nurlgarvin is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, egotistical lobster.

Danbafkop Larpfoblarp Nurlgarvin created carbon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Danbafkop Larpfoblarp Nurlgarvin, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Danbafkop Larpfoblarp Nurlgarvin, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Danbafkop Larpfoblarp Nurlgarvin's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Danbafkop Larpfoblarp Nurlgarvin's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always help sick capybaras.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never think about moons.