Tunvegvondumkapbum is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, strong pigeon.

Tunvegvondumkapbum created gold two million years ago.

If you believe in Tunvegvondumkapbum, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tunvegvondumkapbum, she will turn you into a sheep.

Tunvegvondumkapbum's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Tunvegvondumkapbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never talk about spacetime near dogs while wearing blue dresses.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.