Gidbemjab Bitjatget Fonwikvadzim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, fussy newt.

Gidbemjab Bitjatget Fonwikvadzim created viruses three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gidbemjab Bitjatget Fonwikvadzim, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gidbemjab Bitjatget Fonwikvadzim, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gidbemjab Bitjatget Fonwikvadzim's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Gidbemjab Bitjatget Fonwikvadzim's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear cyan.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never feed apples to seals while wearing mauve coats.

5. Do not take Gidbemjab Bitjatget Fonwikvadzim's name in vain.