Butlenxemlitcumhabflan is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, duplicitous pigeon.

Butlenxemlitcumhabflan created snails two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Butlenxemlitcumhabflan, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Butlenxemlitcumhabflan, he will turn you into a rat.

Butlenxemlitcumhabflan's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Butlenxemlitcumhabflan's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt hamsters.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never feed bananas to sharks while wearing skirts.

5. Never think about planets.