Tikflapzimnartunstig is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, humane meerkat.

Tikflapzimnartunstig created the planet Venus two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikflapzimnartunstig, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tikflapzimnartunstig, he will turn you into a rat.

Tikflapzimnartunstig's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Tikflapzimnartunstig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

4. Erect three tin sculptures of Tikflapzimnartunstig on top of important buildings.

5. Never go into yellow rooms.