Habtagzim is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, charitable aardvark.

Habtagzim created bats eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Habtagzim, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Habtagzim, she will ignore you.

Habtagzim's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Habtagzim's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Run away from cyan grasshopers, for they are unholy.