Looplagmitdib is a god.

She takes the form of a large, irritating grasshopper.

Looplagmitdib created Europe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Looplagmitdib, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Looplagmitdib, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Looplagmitdib's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Looplagmitdib's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

3. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Looplagmitdib loves doves, so they must be respected.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.