Quagkenveen is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, temperamental coyote.

Quagkenveen created the planet Earth five million years ago.

If you believe in Quagkenveen, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Quagkenveen, it will turn you into a slug.

Quagkenveen's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Quagkenveen's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured sheep.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never bounce in the presence of ducks.

4. Erect a large gold sculpture of Quagkenveen on top of all buildings.

5. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Quagkenveen in the centre of the settlement.