Batcanvag is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, witless hedgehog.

Batcanvag created the Black Eye Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Batcanvag, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Batcanvag, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Batcanvag's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Batcanvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moons.

2. Never talk about dark energy.

3. Always wear purple.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never paint your hands black.