Tapnurlnancambatjarnzig is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, emotional naga.

Tapnurlnancambatjarnzig created a strange quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapnurlnancambatjarnzig, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tapnurlnancambatjarnzig, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tapnurlnancambatjarnzig's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Tapnurlnancambatjarnzig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

2. Hide if three shrews approach from the east.

3. Never think ill of sick dolphins.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never chant in the presence of grasshopers.