Nurrutkarjongun is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, selfish dolphin.

Nurrutkarjongun created a strange quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurrutkarjongun, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nurrutkarjongun, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nurrutkarjongun's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Nurrutkarjongun's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Always obey Nurrutkarjongun's priests.

3. Put Nurrutkarjongun first in all things.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never eat green fruit.