Zansakcid is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, charitable cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Zansakcid created carbon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zansakcid, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zansakcid, she will destroy your home planet.

Zansakcid's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Zansakcid's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Zansakcid must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not dye your hair white.

4. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.